a bruised reed He will not break...

One chilly fall evening, I toured the once violence ridden
old maximum security Colorado State Penitentiary in
Canon city. It was like so many visits, walking the cell
blocks past darkened 5x9 cages, the men clutching the
bars staring at us with their dead eyes, a grate overhead
to catch the garbage hurled from the upper tiers.
We tried that evening to visit the solitary cell block where
the men were locked up 23 out of 24 hours. By an unusual
move we had been denied permission. The screams from
the cell blocks told us why.

That night I spoke to a packed chapel, the rear pews filled
with men with those same dead eyes. But I saw some of
them come alive as the spirit of God moved powerfully in
that jammed prison room. As the inmates were being marched
out two-by-two, one young lad – he looked about the age of
my oldest son – grabbed my arm. His eyes sparkled as he spoke,
he said, “I have no family and no friends.” Then His voice faltered
for a moment, “but thank you Mr.Colson, thank you. Six months
ago I wrote to you and you matched me up with a family in
Colorado Springs. Their name is Antonsen; they have been
writing and visiting me.” Tears began to roll down his cheeks,
yet he had the most radiant expression. “I just want you to know,
Mr.Colson, that for the first time in my life, I have
hope and a reason to live.”

Hope and a reason to live – that’s what
Prison Fellowship is all about.
The Good News of Jesus Christ must be preached to those locked
behind prison bars that they too might share the greatest gift
known to man – the gift of God’s Son.
You may be thinking that a sentence of more than seven years in
the Colorado State Penitentiary must mean a man committed a
serious crime. Probably true. So you say to yourself, “he’s getting
what he deserves. Why do we worry about convicts?”

Pause a moment to remember Jesus at the end of his ministry.
On the last day of his life, he was taken from his solitary cell on
death row, he was marched up that hill, spat upon, ridiculed,
mocked, beaten, the blood running down his temples from the
crown of thorns placed on his head. Then he was left to hang from
a cross at Golgotha, the place of the skull, to die. And he did so
as much for that young man in that Colorado prison as he did
for you and me.

Those of us who have committed our lives to
follow Christ are also committed to lay our
lives down for others, as he did for us.
We are commanded to do this. Every expert agrees that prisons
do not and cannot rehabilitate. That is why, according to some
statistics. four out of five crimes are committed by ex-convicts
Prisons merely recycle the criminals of society, often turning
them out even more violent and dangerous to society
than when they entered. We believe that the life-changing power
of Jesus Christ is the best hope inside the prisons.
We believe this by faith, and we know it by experience.
Instead of coming out of prison bitter and defiant to plague
society, those who have truly accepted Christ and become part
of a loving, caring Christian community return as law-abiding
citizens. This is the way to attack the crime problem at its root.
Thus, this ministry can have vital social benefits, but even more
importantly, Prison Fellowship is a vehicle through which
followers of Jesus Christ can heed his clear command to
go into the prisons ( see Matt 25)

It is important for you to know that our goal is not to build
a new para-church organization with an extensive paid staff.
Often such groups give the church an excuse not to get involved
by taking over its legitimate functions: often they bypass the
church. Our ministry on the contrary, is to be an exhorter,
an enabler, a facilitator; our goal is to encourage the
local church and the local Christian
community to become personally committed
and involved. ..


The task before us is tough. Make no mistake;
there are no panaceas. Bringing Christ into the prison is not
like waving a magic wand and then watching miracles happen.
It is a day in, day out, slugging away in the trenches.
There will be setbacks and disappointments. We deal with
people who had a lifetime of rejection; we cannot expect
instant results. Instead, we need to be patient and persevering,
showing care and love to those- like the young man in the
Colorado prison – who are among the most unloved in our
society. When they slip and fall, we need to pick them up.
Above all, we must remember that God measures our success
not in numbers won, but by the faithfulness of our
own hearts. If we are faithful, he will give the increase.

I believe that God is going to perform a mighty reforming
work in the prisons and institution… that he is raising up
people like you and me as part of his army, the hands
and feet that perform the labors...

Yours in His Service,
Chuck Colson

author's note:
I started joining Prison Fellowship ministry when I was 18 years old
(I’m the youngest). My passion to serve the inmates started when
I was 15years old. One day as I read through my bible, I came to
this following passage:

Matthew 25:

The Final Judgment
31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels
with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne.
32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence,
and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates
the sheep from the goats.
33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right,
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom
prepared for you from the creation of the world.
35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave
me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you
cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we
ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you
something to drink? ..
39 When did we ever see you sick or in p
rison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth,
when you did it to one of the least of these my
brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say,
‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared
for the devil and his demons.
42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty,
and you didn’t give me a drink.
43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home.
I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing.
I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused
to help the least of these my brothers and sisters,
you were refusing to help me.’
46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment,
but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

From that day onward there were a conviction and a passion
in my heart that I should go and serve the prisoner though
I do not have the access and to go in, I didn’t even know there
is such ministry like Prison Fellowship. I remember praying to
God for those who are in prison and for those who were arrested
for the gospel sake. 2years went by and I felt impossible that I
could serve the prisoners plus I do not have the qualification
to go in. One day there’s one brother in our church, he
approached me (which is my current boss) and ask me to work
for him in their new office little did I know that he is the Chairman
of Prison Fellowship in our state. The day I went to their new
office he informed me that I’m going to work with Prison Fellowship.
I was amazed how God answered my prayer.

It is a great privileged to serve God inside the prison.
Our Executive Director of PF always said this
“whenever we visited the prisoners we are not bringing Christ in,
we are visiting Christ and we are all just the same with the inmates,
a sinner, in fact we sinned in our daily lives, but the difference
is they got caught and we don’t”

It’s always a joy whenever it’s my turn to visit them and every
time we step out of the prison I always feel refreshed, revived.
I don’t know why, but just to fellowship and minister to those
inmates reminded me of who I am and what Christ has done
for mankind, his love and sacrifice. I can see some of the inmates
though they are locked up physically but I can see freedom in
their soul through their eyes, you can see a glimpse of joy
and peace written all over their face.

God’s love covers a multitude of sin. There’s one particular guy,
I was told by our chairman that he raped his cousin while she
was still 9years old, I was indignant at first when I heard but
the Lord taught me not to look at him through my physical eyes
instead look through the eyes of Christ. Every volunteer must
abound not just in good works but also in love. Same goes to me,
I am also unworthy but Christ look at me beyond my weaknesses
and sins. It takes Christ love for me to embrace them without judging,
to comfort instead of condemning and look into their eyes
and love them unreservedly.

Ephesians 3
17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp
how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measure of all the
fullness of God.

The Prison Fellowship team has put it this way.
The right reasons to join.
What are the right reasons for going into prison?
First of all a deep conviction that God is sending you there
for Christian service. You should go in obedience to Christ’s call…
The other right reason for joining this ministry is out of love for
inmates – people numbered among the world’s forgotten.
If you really love these people, you won’t use them for your selfish
ambition. Your purpose will be loving words and actions to point
them to Jesus Christ, who is the author and the perfector of authentic
love. Under the mandate of love, you also won’t get discourage
as easily when the going gets tough.

Like what Mr.Chuck Colson wrote, this is not an easy task,
sometimes the result would be very disappointing,
I remember one day there’s a lady called me up and question
me why do we need to serve the prisoners, she told me they
deserve it! So on and so fort... Many times we invited pastors,
elders, leaders, to come and join, fulfill and take heed what
Jesus said in Matt 25, though the respond was very discouraging
but the Lord was faithful all through the way.

On that glorious day,
When the Son of Man comes in his glory,
and all the angels with him,
then he will sit upon his glorious throne.
I want to hear him saying this to me
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father,
inherit the Kingdom prepared for you
from the creation of the world.
For I was hungry, and you fed me.
I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink.
I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
I was naked, and you gave me clothing.
I was sick, and you cared for me.
I was in prison, and you visited me.’

take my life Lord but not my money...

I’ll give you anything Lord; take my life…but not my money…
Like what I’ve written on my previous blog even in my facebooking
I want God to be glorified, in EVERY DEPARTMENT of
my life I want God to reign not me. I want him to take fully control
over my life. That’s basically what I’ve been praying for.

Someone told me this “don’t talk about laying down your life
for God if you can’t and need to think twice before laying
down your money for God sake”
For me it was a funny statement but it has powerful truth in it.
Few years back I do have problem in handling my money though
I’ve given what I ought to give to God but in my part I’m just
miserable, years gone by I can see the Holy Spirit has taught me
so much and I can see progress and though I’m still struggling but
I thank God that it didn’t get any worst. I’ve been asking the Holy
Spirit to give me self-control not to spend carelessly but with wisdom.

My sisters called me shopaholic , something that I didn’t take pride
in instead I’m embarrassed. We all still do have our own struggles in
our daily lives even after we became Christian and I acknowledge that
this habit can become worse without God’s intervention.
We all notice that the world system is corrupt, everyday they
advertise and encourage you to spend more and more
“shop ‘till you drop” that’s what the world always says…

Recently I was reading the book called the power of prayer by
R.A Torrey, and the author touched on the subject of generosity…
here’s what he wrote,

Many professing Christian men, every year of their lives,
spend more on the unnecessary, not to say filthy and
unwholesome, tobacco habit than they do upon sending
the Gospel to the perishing in China, India, Africa, and
elsewhere. Yet they wonder why God does not answer
their prayers. Many men in our churches today,
if you ask them for 100$ for foreign missions, would
almost faint away, and yet they spend more than fifty
cents a day on cigars, and fifty cents a day would add
up to more than $100 in a year… and never dream of giving
the same a mount to foreign missions.
Yet they wonder why God does not answer
their prayers.

At a great world missionary meeting in Rochester some
years ago, an enthusiastic missionary advocate stretched out
her hands to the audience in a pathetic appeal and said,
“sisters, we must have money for foreign missions.”
Yet as she said it, more than $7000 worth of diamonds
flashed her fingers. Yet we wonder why God does not answers
our prayers. Oh, there is no wonder at all about it;
the explanation is simple. It is found in the word of God;
it is because of our stinginess, the smallness of our
giving. Doesn’t God say it in His word, and is He not
thundering it in our ears right now:

Proverbs 21:13
Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor,
he also shall cry himself,
but shall not be heard.


After reading the book I open my bible and the Lord spoke to me
clearly thru His word. It really stirs my heart; I do not want to be
a listener only I want to be a doer, to do what pleases God’s heart.
Suddenly the Lord reminded me of my pledge. I remember
I promised one of God’s servants that I will pledge to help their
church building; I really do have the desire to help this specific
church. Months went by and I forgot about it until that night…
in the other hand I also do not have the amount that the Lord spoke in
my heart. So I pray, for few days I pray and pray and believe by faith,
put into practice what I’ve learned. I do not know where or how or
when the money will come but deep within my heart I heard a voice
saying the money will soon come. True to His word, few weeks later
someone gave me amount of money so I set it aside for the pastor,
though I admit I was tempted to use the money for my own pleasure
but I remember God’s word

1 John 3:16-19
We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life
for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our
brothers and sisters. If someone has enough
money to live well and sees a brother or
sister in need but shows no compassion—
how can God’s love be in that person?
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other;
let us show the truth by our actions.
Our actions will show that we belong to the truth,
so we will be confident
when we stand before God.

Amazingly the day I sent the money over to them and even
after it I felt joy… I thought I would feel miserable. hahaha.. But it
turned out that I felt happy inside of me, knowing that I have
obeyed God’s word by faith with the help of His Holy Spirit.
I’m glad that the Lord gave me this opportunity to bless
others who are in need.

For me it’s not about the money actually, not about the amount,
it’s not about what I’m going to get in return; it’s about the
condition of my heart. How far am I willing to give it all for Christ?
I remember the story about a widow who came to the temple
and gave her offering while Jesus watched with his disciples,
though the Pharisees gave larger amount than the women
but surprisingly Jesus was pleased by the women’s offering.
Little that she had but she gave it all for the One who sees her heart.

Mark 12:41-43

How can we say we give our life for God when we are
holding back our money, our wealth, our family, loved ones,
our daily life and our future?

I know for sure that the pastor needed the money more
than me, whether the pastor will use it for their church building
or for mission, one thing for sure it will be for the expansion of
the kingdom of God and His glory.


Luke 6:38-39
Give, and you will receive.
Your gift will return to you in full—
pressed down, shaken together to make room for more,
running over, and poured into your lap.
The amount you give will determine
the amount you get back.”

This is not the end for me, this is just the beginning,
i want to abound in good works. Whenever the Lord speaks in
the future I want to be a blessing not just in words but also through
my action. Every time I give what is mine to others in need,
I felt that I have crucified my flesh and carnal desire and through
this process I can see God being glorified. Only when I crucified
myself will I taste true freedom and joy that I found in Christ Jesus.

o yeah!!!!

hahhaa..im reading John Bunyan Pilgrim's progress book.... i've read before in Amy Carmicheal's biography and she mentioned a lot about this author. it catches my attention and wanted to at least peek at his book which i believe is not available in this country...and it was written before WWII if im not mistaken....guess what my friend gave me links...and there i found this site..and John Bunyan Pilgrim's progress is available to read....thank you Lord:)

too lazy...

why is it that today i felt too lazy to do anything...im too lazy to finish my video making, im too lazy to be friendly, too lazy to smile, to lazy to be happy..hehehe...to lazy to finish up all my writing... i have like 3 diff topic that i have written and i dont know how to end it...because im too lazy to write in down....my mind think so much thought that i think i should write it down but im tooo lazy to cope up with my mind...so many things i wanted to write but im too lazy to really sit and write...aaarrrgggghhhh....haaaiiihhhh....dont worry sheila it's only a seasonal emotion...i hope so...hahahaha

grrrrr!!!

What is happening with the local churches?
Why are we still prophesying ‘vain things’ and dishing
out only favorable personal prophecies? We declare
‘Thus saith the Lord! Thus saith the Lord!”
we like to predict the future and claim we have a word
for every individual person. What’s the different between
us and the witch and diviners?
I am disgusted when I know that deception has a
foothold in our midst.I am disgusted and mad…
forgive me Lord but I am!

After my mum passed away the Lord spoke in my heart clearly
to be fervent in prayer and to intercede since I don’t really know
what to pray I just quote this “Lord, teach me how to pray” and
true enough, through His Holy spirit he taught me how to pray.
like what I’ve wrote in my blog before that I’ve received stuff from
God but I was hesitant, unsure of it’s meaning because it’s against
what I’ve seen in our midst, but I continue to pray that if what I
have felt and sense is true than somehow God will give me clear
confirmation.

Yesterday the Lord answered my prayer. She’s been struggling
whether to tell me or not, the Lord spoke to her last week through
His servant, to go and do what the Lord has put in her heart.
We met and she shared the things she kept in her heart over the
years.

I was so shocked! I couldn’t believe that what I have felt and sense
before is actually true plus the Lord confirmed the word He gave
to me 5years ago. It’s a very sensitive issue and I don’t want to
write in detail. I just want to pour it out.

Now I understand why my spirit grieved when I sat with them,
now I understand when I read Ezekiel 16 you brought them into
my mind. Truly Lord your ways are beyond mine, your thoughts
are beyond mine, many times I cannot understand but you
are faithful.

I couldn’t sleep the whole night even after I woke up I kept
thinking that their souls is at stake, there is darkness in the House
of God. I wept and I don’t know what to pray, how to pray but
I will not remain silent, I will not! I won’t let this deception
continue to creep among your people Lord and cause division.


Jeremiah 4:19
19 Oh, my anguish, my anguish!
I writhe in pain.
Oh, the agony of my heart!
My heart pounds within me,
I cannot keep silent.
For I have heard the sound of the trumpet;
I have heard the battle cry.

Why in God’s name we want to steal His glory?
Why do we declare “thus saith the Lord” when everything
that came out from our mouth is merely from our flesh?!
Why are we not willing to repent?
Why are we so stubborn in our sin?

!!!

Jeremiah 29
4Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel,
unto all that are carried away captives,
whom I have caused to be carried away from
Jerusalem unto Babylon;

5Build ye houses, and dwell in them;
and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

6Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters;
and take wives for your sons, and give your
daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons
and daughters; that ye may be increased there,
and not diminished.

7And seek the peace of the city whither I have
caused you to be carried away captives,
and pray unto the LORD for it:
for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace.

8For thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel;
Let not your prophets and your diviners, that be
in the midst of you, deceive you, neither hearken to
your dreams which ye cause to be dreamed.

9For they prophesy falsely unto you in my name:
I have not sent them, saith the LORD.

10For thus saith the LORD, that after seventy years
be accomplished at Babylon I will visit you, and perform
my good word toward you, in causing you to return
to this place.

11For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil,
to give you an expected end.

12Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and
pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.

13And ye shall seek me, and find me,
when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

14And I will be found of you, saith the LORD:
and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather
you from all the nations, and from all the places whither
I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you
again into the place whence I caused you to be
carried away captive.

it's been 5years, i remember vividly that night when
the Lord gave me this word.
After 4 years praying, asking, seeking, waiting upon God the
Lord answered one of my prayer specifically today.

verse 8-9 really bothered me over the years,
I’ve been telling God that it’s impossible that there
will be any deceiver or prophets that are not of God
in our midst. over the years i've been praying though
i cannot really comprehend, but there's urgency to pray.

I don’t feel like writing in details but I just want to
encourage my soul that MY GOD REIGNS! He is…
He is in control over this situation...
He's in charge over this matter...

This verse describe the condition of my soul

Jeremiah 4
19 Oh, my anguish, my anguish!
I writhe in pain.
Oh, the agony of my heart!
My heart pounds within me,
I cannot keep silent.
For I have heard the sound of the trumpet;
I have heard the battle cry.

I am seriously mad! Mad with this situation, mad to those who let themselves get easily influenced, mad at those who blasphemed the Name of GOD, mad at those who use the Name of God in vain without any fear or trembling! Mad at those who use the Name of GOD for their personal gain and for self-exaltation! Mad at those who deceived your people, the weak and ignorant! Lord you need to do something! You need to! I will not keep silent! I will not!

How can they stand before your people and declare "thus saith the Lord" when everything that they have said is from their flesh?! these phrase have been widely used "thus saith the Lord" not to edifies the church, to comfort or to encourage but instead using it for their personal gain.They blasphemed Your Name! aren't they aware about the consequences of it? don't they remember that God is GOD?!How can this be? Lord, have mercy upon this temple, hear my cry, have mercy upon their souls. Hear our prayer and when you hear, forgive. intervene LOrd! we are helpless, Holy Spirit we need you!


4 Circumcise yourselves to the LORD,
circumcise your hearts,
you men of Judah and people of Jerusalem,
or my wrath will break out and burn like fire
because of the evil you have done—
burn with no one to quench it.

it really hurts...

an old lady wrote that when you cry, dont cry alone.
cry with others it can heal.. it's really heartbreaking when i
see her now embracing other faith. we all do have free will,
i know that...i dont know what to write here.. all the why's
is running thru my head now...is this all their fault?
life is unfair, maybe human just like to be stupid.
we all know there is a GOD, she heard the truth before.
and yet she turned her back from GOD...what makes her
to take this decision? hurts? past experience?guilt?
i remember as pastor sam prayed this prayer
"Lord, we are helpless...many times we see
them turn their back on you...we are helpless.."
as he offer this prayer he cried.... so do i.
i understand, he felt the heart of GOD, the heart beat
of GOD is souls, He desire that no man should perish...

carry my cross

I want to quote Leonard Ravenhill’s prayer, a beautiful prayer

“We pray Lord for Your glory not for ours,
not for the preachers, not even for the last
day’s ministries but we pray for your holy
Name sake that you will invade this sanctuary tonight.
We pray you’ll work spiritual revolution in us,
we pray that some of us will go to our own funeral
tonight and die to self and all the failure
and all the weakness”

Last friday when attending our prayer meeting, while praying,
when all the petition and all the request were made known
before our God, when we sang the song “change my heart
O God” I sat there on my chair and cried for this generation,
for my people, for this city, this nation, like Leonard Ravenhill
said, this generation never seen your glory.


Second thing. As I sat there and just examining my heart,
this question appeared in my heart, how many are willing
to follow Christ to the point of death? I looked around and
I don’t know, that very night I asked God to re-examine my
own heart, I wept, I pray that I will be found worthy to die for Him.


In this generation standing for what it right, declaring truth
is like an offense (really weird) especially when we speak out
the gospel in restricted nations it will cost you your very life
and because of it many believers shun the gospel from other
unbelievers, I’ve shared to others about Christ and I can tell
you it’s pretty hard especially when they really hold on to their
beliefs.


I met one pastor and he’s new to this place, he shared to me
that his fellow believers warned him not to share the gospel
with strangers and people from this specific religion because
it will cost him his life, I can see from his face that he’s puzzled
and disappointed.I understood what he felt (because before I
also have the same mindset like his fellow believers). I told
Him that it’s true, sharing the Gospel will cost him his life
but I told him where I stand, i do not agree with the 'advice'
of his 'friends', i remember telling him if we do not speak out
the unbelievers will never know the truth because only
the truth can set them free..the truth about Christ, the
message of the cross.

Apostle Paul wrote this

Philippians 1:27-30
27Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner
worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come
and see you or only hear about you in my absence,
I will know that you stand firm in one spirit,
contending as one man for the faith of the gospel
28without being frightened in any way by those who
oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed,
but that you will be saved—and that by God.
29For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ
not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him…


I told him if I were in His position I will ignore those voices,
(I’m not saying be rebellious, that’s not what I meant)
it’s because they don't want to live antithesis life,
their words are totally different with the Word of God,
if I have the conviction to share to other unbelievers
I will do, though maybe there are times where I have
to argue first with God..hahhaha..but then I’ll try my best.

Luke 21:5-13
Jesus Foretells the Future
…But Jesus said, 6 “The time is coming when all these
things will be completely demolished. Not one stone will
be left on top of another….

On verse 8-11 Jesus told them thing that will happen before
the end comes and the next verse Jesus clearly stated this…

12 “But before all this occurs, there will be a time of great persecution.
You will be dragged into synagogues and prisons,
and you will stand trial before kings and governors
because you are my followers.
13 But this will be your opportunity to tell them about me

O God remove our ignorance… ignorance towards Your word.

Even in this current situation Christians began
to tremble, break down and begin to seek God.
Last Sunday the speaker shared that the church has
become too complacent that’s why persecution sets in,
Christians hold 2 to 3 jobs to earn more money,
working day in day out and only set their feet to
church on Sundays. He said that this very situation is
a good reminder for all us that the church is not our refuge,
the church building is not our shelter but GOD is.

Psalm 9:9
The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed,
a refuge in times of trouble.

Psalm 31:19-20
How great is the goodness you have stored
up for those who fear you.
You lavish it on those who come to you for protection,
blessing them before the watching world.
You hide them in the shelter of your presence,
safe from those who conspire against them.
You shelter them in your presence,
far from accusing tongues.

I admit that I’m also was taken aback when
I first heard all this current situation but the
Lord reminded me this morning and gave
this verse into remembrance

Psalm 2:2-5
The kings of the earth prepare for battle;
the rulers plot together against the LORD
and against his anointed one.
3 “Let us break their chains,” they cry,
“and free ourselves from slavery to God.”
4 But the one who rules in heaven laughs.
The Lord scoffs at them.
5 Then in anger he rebukes them,
terrifying them with his fierce fury.


That night when we had our prayer meeting,
we all earnestly seek God and crying out to Him
for help and comfort. This word came to us


Isaiah 52
Deliverance for Jerusalem

1 Wake up, wake up, O Zion! Clothe yourself with strength.
Put on your beautiful clothes, O holy city of Jerusalem,
for unclean and godless people will enter your gates no longer.
2 Rise from the dust, O Jerusalem. Sit in a place of honor.
Remove the chains of slavery from your neck,
O captive daughter of Zion.

My name is blasphemed all day long.

6 But I will reveal my name to my people,
and they will come to know its power.
Then at last they will recognize that
I am the one who speaks to them.”
7 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the
messenger who brings good news, the good news
of peace and salvation, the news that the
God of Israel reigns!
8 The watchmen shout and sing with joy, for before
their very eyes they see the LORD returning to Jerusalem.
9 Let the ruins of Jerusalem break into joyful song,
for the LORD has comforted his people.
He has redeemed Jerusalem.
10 The LORD has demonstrated his holy power
before the eyes of all the nations. All the ends of the earth
will see the victory of our God.
11 Get out! Get out and leave your captivity,
where everything you touch is unclean.
Get out of there and purify yourselves,
you who carry home the sacred objects of the LORD.
12 You will not leave in a hurry, running for your lives.
For the LORD will go ahead of you; yes,
the God of Israel will protect you from behind


My God reigns!! :)

churches under attack?

i found this article from my friend, anyway...i find it funny when i read all the comments posted from the readers...

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/49190-cops-deny-latest-church-attack-


Psalm 2
1 Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth take their stand
and the rulers gather together
against the LORD and against his Anointed One.
3 "Let us break their chains," they say,
"and throw off their fetters."
4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
the Lord scoffs at them.
5 Then he rebukes them in his anger
and terrifies them in his wrath

facebooking and tweet! tweet!!

http://davidsills.blogspot.com/2009/08/tweet-tweet.html

long before i found this article i also felt the same thing, i thought it was ridiculous i even tease myself for being too spiritual but inside me felt disgusted whenever i wrote something on my shout out especially about myself. it's not wrong actually writing about yourself but it has become more self-promoting, self exalting so i ended up deleting my Fb account because that's what i felt i should do and in my heart there's no peace at all.Everything is about me myself and I, the Unholy trinity. hehehe... i bumped in with this article few days ago and well said...well said...though maybe this is not applicable for some of us (i think) but as a christian i think we should meditate on this matter, LESS OF ME AND MORE OF GOD...

and even if im going to make a new account it will be more of God.

hope after reading you'll take time to re-examine our heart and ponder upon it.
be blessed!

Living the Antithesis

author's note:
i know Rev.Susan Tang and even met her personally many times.
i am very much encouraged by her devotion towards God.
She's the first pastor and founder of Calvary charismatic church in east malaysia, also she has planted many churches around sabah. what i love the most about her is she's a woman of prayer and how she poured our her life for Christ and others. i received this email this morning and wanted to share this to all of you..

LIVING THE ANTITHESIS
by Rev Susan Tang
For the past few years the Lord has been speaking to me about living in a manner that is the 'antithesis' to all that is happening in the church and in the nation. Over the years, as I waited on Him, I heard Him say, "There is darkness in My House. I am now calling those who can hear My voice to live lives that will be the antithesis to all that is happening. Stop your activities; start to pray and to live out that 'antithesis.'”


It was difficult because I had meetings lined up and my itinerant ministry was bringing in much financial blessing. The books and tapes were selling well and people were blessed. The only problem was, I did not have a deep sense of God's reality. I was finding it extremely hard to hear from Him and I did not enjoy the sense of joyful liberation and rest in my spirit that I am experiencing now. God settled my indecision by taking me through the typhoid incident! I was pathetic during that illness but so spiritually enriched after it. After I recovered, I could hear Him better and with His directives, came the explanations. I heard Him say, "Too many want to travel and speak for ministerial and money sake. They have no interest to build into my kingdom but into their own ministry which has no eternal validity. Now, will you obey and live in a manner that is the antithesis to all these?"


As I cancelled my itinerant ministry to stay back and spend time to pray, the directives also came to price down my books, to put them on the website for free reading. I was also to sell my house to buy a piece of land and to pioneer a prayer community. Oh, have I been struggling over these directives and decisions for the past two years! No wonder so many of us do not dare to spend time in His presence. Who knows what He will direct us to do next?


The struggles ceased lately as I read Matthew 7:13-14 and Jeremiah 7. In Matthew 7:14, Jesus commanded His disciples to walk the narrow way (or to live in a manner that is antithetical to the popular worldly order) although it was an unpopular choice and 'few there be that find it.' In Jeremiah 7 He convicted me that the deception in the church worldwide had already produced decline and darkness, a darkness which will finally lead to destruction. I then saw the decline of many local pastors and also much confusion in our local church scene as everything climaxes into what Jeremiah described in verse eleven:


" Is this house, which is called by My name, become a den of robbers in your eyes. Behold, even I have seen it, saith the Lord." Not only do we have semi-nudity, gays and lesbians, con-men and women, paedophiles, adulterers, fornicators, pseudo prophets / prophetesses and false apostles defiling the church, we now have an influx of the merchandizing and trading spirit. No wonder God said the final result is that His house will become 'a den of robbers.' As the mercenary and the merchandizing spirit join forces with the present profanity, we will not only rob God of His glory, we will also rob the nation of godly standards or ‘the sense of God,’ and the heathen of their hope and salvation.


Many non-Christians are already disgusted as they could not find the difference between the church and the world.


Benedict called the present culture the ‘culture of death’, and weaved his recent Easter Day message around the contrast between material and spiritual riches an told Christians to undergo a ‘purification of hearts’ so that we can heal a lacerated world. He warned against selfishness, corruption and said that the temptation of worldly riches is ‘the language of the serpent’.


Yes, even the church is now inundated with the ‘culture of death’ and the ‘language of the serpent.’ What, then, is God saying to us? What is His urgent and fresh call at this hour to the church in our nation? Are the prophets and prophetesses in Malaysia hearing Him or are we still prophesying ‘vain things’ and dishing out only favorable personal prophecies? Can we hear God calling men and women to live lives that are the antithesis to the horrible system of greed, materialism and compromise that has defiled the church and the land? Do we hear God calling us back to kingdom life and an apostolic lifestyle? When we do hear, do we then, have the strength to obey? To live a life that is the antithesis to all that is around us is like a fish swimming against the tide. Its strength could break against that onslaught.


Does God know? Yes, He does. This is why He told Israel, “Go on this special diet. Feed on manna (Me) daily. If you do, then you can fight against that order. The journey is indeed too hard for you but you can do it as you feed on Me and let Me infuse you with My life.”


But Israel rejected that special diet. This is why they could not make the journey. Will we let the same happen to us? God knows we can only walk the narrow way and be the antithesis to the defiled, worldly and devilish system if we have an infusion of the life of Jesus. But the church life today is hardly an ‘infusion of His life’; rather, it is an infusion of programs, activities, mental knowledge and great exteriors. If I had not stopped my itinerant ministry and spent time in His presence to hear from Him, and then to have been allowed to see what He showed me, I would not have the strength to carry out His directives. And to many of us these directives seem to be utter foolishness.


Does it seem too much for a single woman pastor who is in her ‘retirement years’ to sell her house and part with her only piece of visible and tangible asset? Yet my disobedience, after the Lord has shown me the rich rewards of my decision, would be worse than total foolishness and wickedness. My heart came to a liberating rest and joy when I could finally agree with what God was saying to me.


“The church must not only pray. She must live her prayers. If the church in Malaysia will not live lives that are the antithesis to all that is around her she will never be able to defeat the powers of darkness in this land; neither will she have the strength to avert My coming judgment.”


The infusion of His strength has helped me to yield, to agree to His directives and to start to live in a manner that will be the ‘antithesis’ to that which is selfish, worldly and devilish. I am doing it not because I'm spiritual, wonderful or ‘one step above the rest’. I am doing it as an act of obedience and out of a deep love for God. I am also doing it because I want to ‘stand in the gap’ for many priests and prophets who are unable to come free of the psychic bondage to materialism. I am also doing it as an encouragement to others to follow. The Lord has given me the assurance that there will be many others who will follow as His reality enveloped us for “Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power” (Psalm 110:3)


I now know what it means when I pray, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done.” God’s kingdom cannot come if His will is not done. The ‘kingdom lifestyle’ is the antithesis to the selfish, worldly and devilish order which the enemy has set up. It is wonderful to give it all to Him instead of allowing an incoming tsunami to sweep it away. Of course many still do not believe that a tsunami will ever hit the Malaysian shore or that Malaysian houses or properties will get swept off. People in Acheh and New Orleans did not think it could happen; nevertheless it did. Did people think that Subang Jaya and Shah Alam would get that badly flooded and that winds of that magnitude can hit the city? It happened and the worse is yet to come.


Is your life, up to this time just a product of an institution (the church) or is it an infusion of the life of Jesus? If it is an infusion of the life of Jesus, then you can come free of the psychic attraction to materialism and the ‘culture of death.’ You can live the ‘kingdom lifestyle’ and not listen to the ‘language of the serpent’. You can speak God’s language, ‘go against the tide’ and live the life that is the ‘antithesis’ to all that is around you so that you can heal the lacerated world … and the church.

heal my heart

after reading Ezekiel 16, i was in awe, speechless and blessed beyond measure by His love. He loved us in spite of our sins and wickedness. He didn’t relent and reject us instead He did whatever it takes to win our wicked heart and replace it with a new, clean heart. a heart that will love Him unreservedly. This song came while i was worshipping. a simple and sincere prayer for a loving God. Lord this is for You:)

something from my heart...

i was talking with my boss this afternoon about mission,
christian history, how great man and women of Christ
pay the price in order to see others being saved,
they even poured out their life for God's glory
and for unreached people group. after he shared his
story he lend me an article called "on the Silk Road"

4/14 statistic on the Silk Road
18 million Turks are under 15
Azerbaijan has 200,000 children
who are Internally Displaced Persons.
Kazakhstan has 80,000 orphans
China has at least 6,000,000 unregistered children
1 in 4 Afghan children dies before their 5th birthday
Tehran, Iran, has 25,000 child squatters
who live on the streets, where growing drug use
And prostitution are leading to social crisis

On the other hand we live life too comfortable, complacent, contented, and carefree.

Our eyes instead of seeing the suffering of those who are without Jesus, is being mesmerized by entertainment, fashion, and even by our own gated community which we called “church” has evolve and becoming more like a country club where there are plenty of activities that keeps you busy throughout the year until you overlook the power of prayer.

Our hands, instead of reaching or should I say ‘snatch’ them from the devil’s clutch, our hands have become too ‘clean’ to even touch the unclean, the unloved, the hopeless.

Our ears, instead of hearing the plea, the cry of the oppressed, the poor, the widow and the orphan, we shut it with the sounds of music, loud music, loud Christian music.

Our feet, instead of direct it down the alley of suffering and self-denial, we run towards pleasure and wealth, “it’s much easier to walk on this wide trail” trying to ease our heart.

Our mouth, instead of declaring truth, peace, love, justice, we stitch it with the thread of fear. Fear of being thrown to jail, fear of being ridicule, fear of being mock, fear of being judge, fear of being persecuted for God sake and the Gospel.

Our mind, instead of having the mind like Christ, think like Christ, act like Christ, perceive things like Christ, love like Christ, suffer like Christ, rejoice like Christ, we have become corrupt! We fed our mind with entertainment, immorality and wickedness not forgetting all the rubbish that we read, see and hear.

Our heart, instead of burning with passion for Christ and compassion for the lost, it has become hard as stone, dull and lifeless and yet we profess we love the One who was pierced for our sake.

So I ask O God that you will stir our affection for Your Son, Jesus. Stir our heart!
We can only truly love the lost if we learn to love You genuinely.

an old story of mine

My precious Mother,
Have you given your child unreservedly
to the Lord for whatever He wills?..
Oh, may He strengthen you to say “Yes”
to Him if He asks something which costs.
Darling mother, for a long time as you know
the thought of those dying in the dark –
Fifty thousand of them every day
while we at home live in the midst of blazing light –
has been very present with me,
and the longing to go to them,
and tell them of Jesus, has been strong upon me.
Everything, everything seemed to be saying “Go,”
Through all the sounds the cry seemed to rise,
“Come over and help us.” Every bit of pleasure or
work which has come to me, has had underlying it
the thought of these people who have never,
never heard of Jesus…

But home claims seemed to say “Stay,”
and I thought it was His Will; it was perhaps,
until yesterday. I cant explain it, but lately the
need seems to have come closer, and I wrote
down a few days ago, just to have it in
black and white, why I am not going

Your need of me, my Mother
The great loneliness it would
mean to my second Father.
The thought that by staying I might make
it easier for others to go if He called.
My not being strong.


But… yesterday... I went to my room and just asked
the Lord what it all meant, what did He wish me to do,
and, mother, as clearly as I ever heard you speak,
I heard Him say “GO YE”

Several days later Amy received her mother’s answer:

Darling, when He asks you now to go away
from within my reach, can I say nay?
No, no, Amy; He is yours – you are His –
to take you where He pleases and to
use you as He pleases. I can trust you to Him,
and I do

Can I comprehend what Amy is trying to tell her mother? I do, I do understand completely. When I was 15 years old after my personal conversion with the Lord, I am filled with passion for Christ and compassion for the lost, a great burden which I know it came straight from the Lord’s heart. I am overwhelmed with Christ love until one day I approached my mother and told her my desire to serve the Lord unreservedly and even to the point of dying for Him and His gospel if it’s necessary. To reach the unloved, the lost, the street kids to give them hope and a future instead of being the victim of human trafficking, the unreached people group. I even want to help persecuted churches. Well her respond was a bit discouraging. She looked at me and asked me gently “are you crazy?” …I was struck by her answer and I went inside my room and really think a deep thought of what I have spoken, i asked God to examined my heart and asked myself am i willing?.

I remember when my sister shared about the street kids in the city where she lived. One day she was passing by when a Father from a catholic church came by and gave them food to eat, as the Catholic priest sat on the street he was talking to a boy and what really touched my heart is when my sister saw the boy shed a tear, maybe the priest asked him about his family or maybe he’s encouraging the boy, I’m not really sure.

But that very account ignite my passion to someday go back to my “hometown” (though I was not born there but I left my heart there) and do exactly what Amy Carmichael has in her heart when she was a teenager…

When I grow up and money have,
I know what I will do,
I’ll build a great big lovely place
For little girls like you. –Amy

it's been 5 years now since the day the Lord spoke to my heart to build a "great big, lovely place" for the street kids, the least that I can do is to pray for them, many times I had sleepless night knowing that there are kids dying in the dark without Christ, sometimes I can hear their cry and it was almost as if real that I can feel their agony deep within me, knowing that they are abandon by families and friends and in their stricken soul the necessity of a Savior is needed.

As for my mum’s question, I’ll conclude that yes, I am crazy indeed. Crazy for Christ, in fact weeks before she passed away she told one of our family friends that she don’t want any man to become a hindrance for us to keep serving the Lord, she want us to fulfill what God has called us to do.

I don’t know how and when I will start to build a " great big lovely place" for these lovely street kids, there are times where i doubt God and His promises but the Holy Spirit always reminded and comforted me that it was GOd who put this vision in me, He has started it He will also finished it. He will bring it to pass in His time, “He has made everything beautiful in His time” Ecclesiastes 3. As I wait patiently and rely in His mighty hand I will continue to serve here faithfully where I’m currently staying until the day where He will “gather me out of the nations where He sent me and will bring me home again to my own land.”" Jeremiah 29