After hearing the news that my friend (she’s more like my youngest sister) her mum passed away last Monday. To be honest I was perplexed and disappointed. I truly understand what she went through, every moment, every minute. The fear, the hurt, the pain, all the ‘Whys’, regrets ect.

Her father passed away when she was just a kid, leaving her with her mum alone in this place. Now she’s an orphan. She told one of our friends that she has nothing and no one anymore in this life.

Is life unfair? YES, life is unfair! Do I blame God for this situation?honestly, NO but I did asked Him why.

I went to my room Monday night, as usual to pray. I was exhausted emotionally and mentally. The first thing I said is “why, Lord”. I’m not a holy person I am just a human being, I was just totally disappointed, and being transparent with God is always the best thing.

Since earlier this year I faced the death of my close friend then death of our family friend then death of my mum then people who I knew very well and others.

Yes, life is unfair, injustice are everywhere, while the rich lavish themselves with riches and pleasure, the poor died from starving. While many mock their parents, others have to crave for mother’s love. Though there are things that we can find the answer others do not have, like death.

Whatever it is, all the above cannot change the fact that my God is still GOD. It will not change the magnitude and greatness of my God.

It’s a great comfort when I was confronted in my room that night with this truth. That God is still Sovereign.

Hebrew 13:8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

It’s not something that I just profess because I am a Christian. No, I experience God and His faithfulness in my life, though I still have many question marks over my thoughts but still it cannot change the fact.

As for my situation, I don’t know why God took my mum away though miracle is still in existence. I have no specific answer for that but then again, as I’ve said. It can’t change the reality of who God is in MY LIFE.

NOTHING can change the fact Sheila! The fact that my God is sovereign that everything works for good to those who LOVE HIM, that my God is YHWH. HE is enough to answer my life's questions. His personality, character, His names, He himself is enough to answer all the why's and question mark.. though the answer doesnt fit my understanding and human perspective but He is enough, He is above all. He is larger than my heart and life itself. His ways and thoughts are beyond mine.

As for my friend. I’m not sure whether she is saved but I’m praying that she’ll have a personal encounter with God. Though darkness overwhelm her, I’m praying that she will find the Light of the world. Even when death breaks her but Life will abound. Praying that in this lowest point of her life let it become the turning point of her life.

When everything falls apart and fail, will you be found faithful?
Praising God in good season. well, everyone can do it.
Praising God in the midst of suffering and loosing someone is tough…
I’ve learned the hard ways and am still learning and I found that God is faithful.
I’ve learn this, that I don’t need a “good, logical reason that fits/please my brain and emotion” to praise God.
Praise Him even when everything’s collide and confusion overwhelm,
praise Him even when you do not have the answer because God is still a Sovereign GOD.

I went out from my room that night not knowing the answer but I ended up rejoicing in the God of my salvation. And yeah, I still don’t have the answer…I think I don’t need it. I guess…hmmmm….

This is such a beautiful prayer offered by Habakkuk..

Habakkuk 317
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there is no fruit on the vines,
though the olive crop failsand the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will triumph in the LORD;
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!
19 YHWH my Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like those of a deer
and enables me to walk on mountain heights!