I will rise up, He will re-build

My mum’s death is the end for some, but for me it’s a beginning of something new…

Last few weeks I was praying in my room and I thought that I have learned and understand the real meaning of Matthew 16:24… and I have to admit that I felt that this life is unfair for me. Loosing someone you love is such a painful experience, no words could ever express the anguish you felt inside. I ended up angry and bitter towards God, I left that room and God just like that…

The next day one of my friend gave me this link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFoLlDdLLVg
I just felt that God was speaking to me thru that song..
then I just realized how selfish I am that night…
I only think about my suffering and sacrifices that I’ve made but I forgot how Jesus died on the cross…
when I went home I was led to open my Bible in Matthew 10:37-39 im not worthy following him if I do not learn how to gave up everything that I held so dearly. The same day I found a book called ‘a pure heart and a firm spirit’ written by Susan Tang, her book is like a mirror to me, I saw myself in almost every paragraph she wrote... An eye opener for me.. This whole incidents brought me to my knees. He showed me the condition of my heart, before my mum passed away she received a word from God saying “I will break before I will re-build”… the breaking process has just begun in me personally…

In brokenness we will find new strength
In sorrow we will learn how to comfort others
In suffering we will learn to walk in humility

My tears brought pure joy
My fears brought peace in my soul

In anguish, im able to taste the suffering of my Savior
In the lowest point of my life I saw God’s greatness
In this hardship a new song birthed out
In this dessert a new fountain overflows within

I will rise up, he will re-build
I will rise up, he will re-build